Believes

everything i do it remind me about you

2009-06-05T07:58:00.000-07:00

feeling * * * ---N

i though today wake up ..i will feel better...so i decided to when out for a walk..to east coast at the beach..maybe i just need a silent to think of all the things i did..it was relaxing calming .
i see the sadnest and the happiness and i glad i make it tru so far with him.

What ruin me the whole day is , i saw some one familar...and the next thing is ...i approach him and ask are u santino..HE replies me /..''No santino is my brother'' i m SEAN....his twin brother..
this is the second time ..and i think god is playing around or i shall say he is punishing me for what i did.

i cannot do anything...but to go home after that look at the four wall, and lay down..staring ..
and was trying not to think..

after that , i dont feel like going out..i m so afraid to see things that will remind me about him.\
Novi, came back with his bf...and again why at this kind of time ..her bf have to stay wit her..when i m feeling lonely. T T ...

Darling always ask me to move on, and dont think so much..i wonder do he cares about this anymore?i know it is not fair for him, But T T ..is he slowly forgetting me and wantin someone new to be in his life.

i know i cant be selfish..T T , if that day comes ..i m just goin to hide..and accept the fact that i m no longer in his heart.

BUT i dont want this to happen...T T ..i know whoever read this will hate me..thinking i m too much.
i m so worried...and i cannot stop tearing...T T

i misses him so much now..i couldnt see him, nor listen to his voice much..this is so suffering.
i wish i could hug him now..i wish.

ps: i dont want to move on alone, i will move on together with you.

defeated

2009-06-04T23:08:00.000-07:00

feeling * * * * N

Sorry, yesterday i couldnt stand ...i m suppose to work..and be strong
my whole body is shiverring ...everything i do it remind me about you.
even my new colleagues name is Seah and is the exact pronounciation.
it so hard to call the name..and i have to work wit him.

god is punishing me, and i deserve to be punish.

i really want to move on and put on the smile ..but my smile drown.
it is ugly is it not the same..it is not me ...
i m like a ship sinking in the middle of the sea..and now it sink very deeply
becuase i love him so deeply.

dar ask me not to think..and i wan to listen to him not to think. But when i close my eyes telling myself hundred times i need to sleep i need to sleep..but i see him ..hurting and i start crying.

People i did my best. i really tried..

Diana you ask me to cry one minute , but when i start crying is so hard to stop.

i want to tell him i m sorry, but he wouldnt trust me anymore. I lost his trust .
i miss him very much i wan to hug him and tell him how much i love him. But now i couldnt ..
he wouldnt listen...anymore.

he do not need me anymore T T.. and i couldnt take it.

Yes faith bring us apart. but faith is still on my hand...and i dont want to loose it.. i will hold on it very tight..and i wont let it go..

Ps; he is the best man in the whole world.

it is the biggest test

2009-06-04T00:24:00.000-07:00

feeling * * * N

i m hanging in here..being strong ..even though i cry..i tel myself..if darling see me cry..he will feel sad ..so no i m not crying..i m going to eat n work n eat n work..and tell him how beautiful is the world is...i m not dead yet..i will stil be guat lu..smiling laughing like a crazy girl and be who i m.

diana u r right, it is the last biggest test...if i n him can go through this...definitely it wont be the same but it will be something..i m telling my self to stop thinking but think positively...i dont want to force him like how i always force him..he is in pain ..T T and i cant stop feeling the pain too.

i dont wan to change him..he is who he is..
i know how tough it is now to climb this mountain...i need the strength..n i know i cant reach the mountain in one day..it is hard ..it might take years..and many more ups and down...and there will be more things i have to accept ..but i m not afraid ..i dont want to be defeated.

now i m going work,

and believe myself that i can do it.

ps: god please take care of him, he will do well in his exams.

You are right

2009-06-03T06:00:00.000-07:00

feeling * * * * * negatif-

3 days feel like forever, i didnt manage to eat and sleep...my mom is truely disapointed at me ..cause she thinks i m very imature doing all this . i know i disapointed her..i wanted to put a show
but i couldnt ..i cant hide my tears..cause it run out automatically when i see anything
it reminds EVERYTHING..

i travel the world..i see beautiful things..but now i dont think i feel the same way...
i had the most beautiful thing and i lost it in one day..
i deserved, i was selfish and i hurt his heart again n again.

Do i love him? he is confuse...
he couldnt trust me anymore.

yes i m a untrustable person, i got influeunce easily..he know if this happen again..it will be again
and again....

and the next thing is he will suffer again n again..

now i dont wan to see him suffer..i feel suffering ....
cause i hurt him..not because he choose to gave up on me..
i hurt him badly..and i know every night and day..he will remind in my head.

you told me the reason on giving up this ...yes you are right...i was forgiven onece n then once again..and now u r tired..

dar i know ..hwo sad u feel in your heart..i feel so hurtful of finally knowing the truth how much i hurt him..again...

you told me i will be meeting more people ..so if i hurt u once it can be again.
i knwo darling ..i will see more people and let things go naturally and at the end of the day
let faith bring us apart.

.but i just pray hard everyday ..that you wont forget me ..

ps: please dont forget me please i beg you...

i.m sorry

2009-06-02T09:27:00.000-07:00

oh i had alot to say,
was thinking my time away,
i missed you and thing werent same,

caused everything inside it never comes out right,
and when i see u cry it makes me wanna die

i m sorry i bad ,i m sorry i blue,
i ;m sorry that all the things i said to you,
and i know i cant take it back,
i loved how you kissed ,
i love all your sound,
and baby u make my world goes around,
and i m just wanna to say i'm sorry

this time i think i m to blame,
its harder to get tru the days,
you get older and blame turn to shame,

every single day, i think about how we came all this way,
the sleepless night and the tears you cry,is never too late to make it right
oh yeah i m sorry,

i m sorry babe, i m sorry =[

------------------------------------------------------

i know even if i m writing this in my blog there is no point of returning,
the begining i step out and move to a different world , i knew this would happen
but i never prepare ..cause i always think you will love me n be loyal to me.
time past ..we move on..we still share ...we still argue..and worst thing is
i never stop complaning...i never listen..i alawyas win...i never care..and
i break your heart...you were the only person who was there with me
for everything ..if i m sick..u be there at night ..talking to me..and tell me
babe dont worry just relax n u be fine..and when i m stress...u will cheer me..
you never know how to express your feeling..you never tell how much u love me
and i always think u dont love me much. i always force u to do the routine..and end up
scolding u..Why our love is such a routine?

you never gave up saying sorry , u always being tolerating..and i m the one asking for so many things..i m sorry.. you were there and now u are not..i m assure that life being wit u is not routine..is our love..I hate myself..for not listening to u.

and now u still forgive me and tell me we are still soul mates. and in future if there is faith we might still be together..when i hear all the words u said ..i couldnt stop crying n tearing that ...
u have finally gave up on me..but i m glad that i was not ignore..i couldnt ask for more now
but only hoping that i learn and you will be happy ...

i just want u to be happy now

i ask for too much!!
i deserve to be alone now...

sorry baby...i know u heard million times..and telling me things wont change.

sorry baby for not listening you
sorry baby for not tolerating wit u
sorry baby for not being there wit u
sorry baby for hurting you once n once n once again
sorry baby for forcing you
sorry baby for not appreciating you
sorry baby for being so selfish
sorry baby for being so ugly
sorry baby for what i hurt you
sorry baby for not holding on you
sorry baby for scolding you
sorry baby for ignoring you when i m angry
sorry baby ....
there is too much....to say...

i know u made your decision...i respect your decision
because i never listen..n now i must listen

i know is too late to apologize...

dar , you said we will go with the flow...and no matter how much things separate
if is meant to be ..we will be...

now no one will force u...no one will make u hurt.

even what i m saying now..u can never feel the same...

i know is time, i will let u see the world ..i will let u do what you want.

promise me dont forget me...

now i feel the pain like how u feel...sorry..i reall feel how it is now..

i let you go..but i believe and trust our destiny...

ps: god please take care of him..please make him happy and healthy

i'm sorry

2009-06-02T08:09:00.001-07:00

Oh I had a lot to say was thinking on my time away
I missed you and things weren't the same

[Pre-Chorus:]
Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me want to die

[Chorus:]
I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue, I'm sorry about all the things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds, and baby the way you make my world go round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry:

This time I think I'm to blame it's harder to get through the days
You get older and blame turns to shame

[Pre-Chorus]

[Chorus]

Every single day I think about how we came all this way
The sleepless nights and the tears you cried it's never too late to make it right
Oh yeah I'm sorry!

[Chorus]
I'm sorry baby, yeah , I'm sorry

ps: i know you wont forgive me, and you will replace me

things had change

2009-06-01T11:32:00.000-07:00

Feeling - * * * *

no matter how much i apologize,

it can never turn back as how is use to be,

all i can do is pray, that you be fine.

and we will just go with the flow.

Things that i can never denied is you are always there in my heart.

ps: i love you

Folks I m Lost

2009-05-28T00:28:00.000-07:00

Feeling *

Yesterday it wasn't me, a lil amount of alcohol was swallow..and i was completely gone..

I announce i m ''drunk '' for the first time , feeling high until i reach the climax that i collapse and puke , and react so ugly. Now i know everything you did , it has it consequences.

Suprisingly i like, usually i dont even take a sip ..the bitterness of the alcohol tat normally would just reach the taste bud and it hardly reaches my throat . People who know me , can i change? I was feeling so in pain ..that hardly feel my lung getting any air.

have you ever lost something that is so F***king important, and when u trusted someone wit it...and that someone looses it . AND I ADMIT i was the F***king someone who looses the people things..

Now even you did something that is so wrong ..but you dont want to go back..You would want to continue how things being, and denied everything that suppose to be the fact.

But anyway 'MAN U' lost to barcelona..Football was not really my channel. But with a crowd yesterday..YES .

Ps: i m lost and with fear ..i know i will loose you

The Mirror of you

2009-05-26T06:19:00.000-07:00

Feeling * * *

I hated myself for being so ugly and selfish

But sometimes is beyond our control, That you don't even realize you are doing it.

Aren't Human selfish? they always want the best for themselves

i just cross the invisible line, and hopefully it will goes back normal.

Normal like how it use to be,

someone please wake me up!!

ps; i m tired of waiting.

Realizing

2009-05-20T11:39:00.000-07:00

Feeling * * *

Sometimes some things in your life you just couldn't get over it.

You always ask for an answer and the reason, but the fact is your fate is over.

So stop thinking and questioning so many Why's?you will just get yourself in to trouble.

Thank you for the memories ,

I just hate being lonely.

Ps: i just ate my vitamin C ,hopefully my flu will go away,

Bikini Bottom

2009-05-11T13:09:00.000-07:00

Feeling * * *

It past 4 am in the midnight , and Ms Lim is still awake. T T
Gosh, i just ate some cheese curry cup noodle ..and please some one stop me from eating at the middle of the night. Cuz i Don't want to get fat =\.

Knowing that i m few tons heavier , i did some exercise today in the basketball court with a new friend which there is some chemistry and kinda click with, after the exercising it just feels great and stress free.But the Basketball game can never be as fun back home with my dear darling.

Anyway This few Days i suppose it feel like a holiday to me, i just came back from the world Best island and here are some pictures of Maldives, Male .The sea water is Aqua clear , beautiful turquoise lagoon and white sandy beaches and breath taking reefs, is really a great place for holiday and especially ''Honey moon.'' couples. =]
I told darling that i hope we could visit Maldives together one day.

Dylan insist to do sun tanning ,he is insane lol and you can see i m hiding under the shade and applying my Sun block which is SPF 130 ,
phew luckily i didn't get darker.

Despite that the whether is freaking hot and can cause you sun burn so easily , but my feet's is following the waves , i happily lay down on the sand and this is what i called the paradise.
After leaving the happy sea , i when to the pool and swim till the whether gets a bit dark and it started to rain.Sobz so i have to get back to my room,and hoping that the whether gets better .

after swimming , u definitely feel hungry..so when back took a shower and had my lunch In Sea breeze cafe ,

While waiting ....

i order a barracuda fish and chips and regretted cause i hate peeling fish that has many bones in it, end up i ate the fries and leaving the fish alone without having a proper meal. SAD =[

The sea breeze cafe View

although lunch did not satisfied me, but still the fries keep some energy for me to take a walk down to the island
.credits to Dylan,for taking all the pictures for me

While walking the wind is blowing

Just after the walk,When feeding the fishes, Gosh! they are so huge and 3 times bigger than redang fishes ,and they look a bit like baby shark. My bread rolls aren't enough to feed them at all.

''That's it fishy, i don't have anymore'' =\

Well, is time to go back and have my rest.

Well, if anyone plans for a honey moon vacation , please do consider Maldives cause you won't regret!!

Ps;Loves and Life is Everything.

Queen Birthday

2009-05-08T12:14:00.000-07:00

It was 30th april which is the queen birthday , and it is one of the biggest celebration in Amsterdam, netherlands. Everybody is allowed to sell things in the street , people all dressing up orange..it is so cool. I woke up in the morning like 9 am, and once i step out , The celebration goes crazy.. people are everywhere and they arE all in ORANGE.

Santino and i ..had just bought something orange

i feel so bad , that i m still using my black coat so i took it off to match the crowd i bought something orange too.can u see that i m feeling so excited , that few second later .....this Caucasian guy just grab me ..lolx ... Credits to d orange dutch guy .

the whole street was just pack with people and there is like music bands performing , people yelling ,dancing, basically everyone was partying.
Besides that , at the canal, people dancing and singing on the boat , barbecuing and lots more ...

Enjoying the walk with the crowd and did some shopping in the souvenir shop ,hanging around in the walking street , Looking at the rich architecture of the tilted buildings..and partying till night ..it just made my day.
p/s :Goodbye amsterdam, i love you =]

The Dutch

2009-05-08T07:26:00.000-07:00

Feeling * * * *

When you are legal it just feel super great..Amsterdam one of the coolest city in Netherlands which is in North Holland..and i just love the dutch.It was my first time ever to European
country and the time was Not enough at all.!! Even i m so freaking exhausted ,i can't afford to loose any single minute of mine exploring Amsterdam.

First shot with the view of the canal,

This first thing to do is to get yourself a map from the concierge ..and start circling the places that you aim to go ,and what happen is that there is so many places u wish to go and u just have to pick the nearest and it is about 20-30 minutes walk.Thank god ! is cold, temperature was 11 Celsius , it was just nice for my coat to keep me warm.

here we go,

1st place to go is to the flower market..

you can see many beautiful tulips on sale :] and is april so is the month of blooming tulips..
i suppose to go for a tour to see a whole field track of colorful tulips BUT i didn't make it cause the next day was the queen birthday and i decide to stay for the queen birthday...How sad =[

What next will be the madame tussaud ,which i totally feel like a V.I.P ,

eehem, don't look at me like thatJustin is having a date with me tonight lolxso do JoHnny =] please don't Envy me.

There is still hell lots of picture i took, but i m too lazy to upload all of them. So after the VIP visit lolx..still feel so energize , and the amusement park was just next to it.

here comes my first crazy ride..called the ''dancing disco''

can you believe it that i almost puked after this ride,It started of spinning slowly and then the speed getting faster and faster , turning clockwise and anti clockwise like non stop 5 minutes, no wonder it cost me 5 euro.this one was way better, but if u are afraid of height, is quite scary when u look down, but when u are up the view of amsterdam is awesome =]
i wasn 't daring enough to take this extreme 360 ride, but santino and sam did =] salute the guys.

act like i was about to go with them too.Nah, no way my heart couldn't take that trill.
''lulu u r such a coward ''

Later on, i was not enough of it, because i only took 2 rides , so i saw another bouncy ride , which i think is okay ..( not so scary kua) cause little kids also when for it..so why not ? i ask sam to take some pictures of me, but non was perfect...i look damn ugly ..and the ride was the scariest among the other 2 that i when , it look like so bouncy and fun..What scare me ,was most of the time i feel like i m flying off from the ride ..my butt couldnt stick on the seat.. i was yelling all the way and can u see how pathetic i was, and the little boy next to me..he was too scare ..that he just close his eyes .=\ AFter riding all the extreme ride, my head was dizzy but i still move on to my next destination which is to the ''Sex Museum''

it is Mr.dicky, and why do i feel so awkward ?
pardon him.Now i know alot more than just the word ''SEX''

MOve on , had a walk to the Red Light district..that consist of theaters, famous sex shop,coffee shop,restaurant alot and the famous window shopping , where sexy ladies with lingerie on, posing and dancing at the window and waiting to get hooked up.You really have to see this vibrant and exciting place.=]

Red light district

The walk was eye opening , and i was innocent all the way, u know what i mean, Anyway i had my dinner and now is time to get my ass back to the hotel to have my beauty sleep and enough rest to continue tomolo event ''the queen birthday''. p/s: Amaze with everything and is worth for the whole day.

J for Japan

2009-04-21T06:25:00.000-07:00

Feeling * * * *

The fatigued of constantly being awake for more than 24hours , i almost collapsed and nobody know how exhausted i was. Eyes and Face were so red and hydrated it looks like i was drunk.,So to overcome it i had to put my eye medication several times to bring the redness away .But anyway tat was just 1 days ago..

You know what , I'm Feeling kinda annoyed with some ''people'' around me, thinking they have the right to bos around and direct people to do this and that , even worst insulting people without caring how they feel.

Let's not talk about that, sush a waste of time.

Well Last week , was a great Night spending in Japan...A country that most wanted in my list , has finally manage to fullfill what i want =]
When i think of japan it always reminds me how cute the city and people is, Especially the culture they practices..good courtesy unlike us...speechless

I reach Japan -Osaka about in the early morning ..although i was so freaking tired , but was so excited to get out from the hotel.
So firstly is to had a good meal and continue my night journey.

They don't have the English version menu, so we have to point our choice of the selected food.
Its only 600yen equivalent of 25bucks of MYR i guess.

The food was quite big portion , it has rice and noodles and tofu , i couldn't even finish it!!
Done eating, not wasting any single time, quickly we go to the train station and alighted in NAMBA. Japan-Osaka night street.
the excitement increase !i told him i will take a candid shot of you, but it turn out like this.
while waiting for the train=]

*Credits to Adrian*

it was because of him, i manage to take some pictures..finally we Reach Namba.
We took a group picture .Everyone was smiling accept Prathip,he is acting cool.

''smile la''

I can't help it..i must try one of this.
Takoyaki , their famous street food..What happen was, They told me i was cute
cause i say i love it..and when i was eating it ..i took off the filling which is the octopus.

Adrian:''what is the point of eating it''.
ME:because is from japan!!takoyaki compliment with Green tea.
Part of Advertising it =p

Shops all almost close about 9 pm..accept food stall, so beside my hotel their is a small complex mall..Everyone was asleep but not me. I still left like about 2300 yen..So i decide to go there and take a look and what happen was
There is this 100yen shop..and see what i got ..all those unnecessary stuff lolx
After buying those..i Felt hungry again and feel like having supper again.
i dig my pocket and found out that i only have 500 yen left.
So i search around , and finally found this small Japanese restaurant that i can have my supper for lesser than 500 yen.

Excuses me ''can i have one fried rice !''
So pathetic
Fried rice with gyoza.

Anyway, it was truly a awesome trip and i m broke!!

ps: The sky is dark, but the city was so beautiful

Stretch the muscles

2009-04-19T07:09:00.000-07:00

Feeling * * * *

After the 6 months of not being an outdoor, i got to maintain my healthy lifestyle like i use to .
so a better way to start it, i first started missing the game. The game where i use to play and a way of expressing my mood.

Well,It wasn't easy at all, to get your feet's to the place where your favorite game is and with the junior high school students , it seems pretty awkward, but nevertheless feel the gap. Cause i m 19teen and turning 20ty only after this December.

I was full of enthusiasm with the game that called basketball, i love it and it reminds me of all the game mates in my high school team.SO much fun with those training and matches it brings the whole thing during the school days.The happy sign of health

Today, i at least did something...Something that i have not been playing for some time ..and surprisingly i wasn't rusty and was deliriously happy cause i still can score 3p and did a few layups that shock the junior high school boys..

They were super funny and i suppose cute ..their culture ways of starting the game is totally different but it allow me to experience something new.

We started the game using some super hand shake called BLACK AND WHITE.
if u are WHITE u are a team with the other WHITE, if u r black u will be team with the BLACK.
confusing but that the way they play.

The game ended and i was refresh and can't wait till the next time again.

Adios

Ps;Have fun always =]

Thousand Miles away

2009-04-14T10:09:00.000-07:00

Feeling * * *

have you ever feel that you are being isolated at one corner, Crouching aside, staring and watching how human being connecting with each other and constantly watching couples sharing their life together?

Dinda had a crucial appointment to the dentist , cause she had a root canal and if she don't fix it ,she cant eat. So i accompany her and while she is in, i waited for her at Mcd, and munching the new munchies...that taste so yummy and oily lolx\
so there is where it begins,

I completely feel zero, a person that is stuck on top of the tree and has no one there to help her. I know is emotional, when i talk about this..the bf is not near me and it been like 5 months since we had our simple commoner date but yet lovely and happy . Which i 'm so missing it now. The last time i saw him it was 2 week ago but man it feel like 2 years. T T

Having a LDR is tough, i knew it from the beginning when i came here.. but nope ,despite that we are far away but the bf always say don't give up and believes that the absence will makes our heart grow stronger.

Agree or not?

i guess i have to agree with it,cause he is so positive.
l
I just know that the man that i complaint and yell..but is making me missing him terribly.i really miss the way how he holds me and say he love me so much but i will reply him..''you said this everyday,dont know whether you 're sincere anot''lolx

Little things like that, holding hands ,sharing, pampering will just made our day.

Without his voice i really feel lonely, Late nights when he is asleep i m all by myself till pass am, but no way i m waking him up cause he has to go coll.

So i independently find my own space , to blog and ignore the silences =]

*see darling i m a big girl d*

commoner date during my high school

After Dinda is done with everything, we decide to be a tourist today
so we when to the train station and alight in Raffles city.

Our tourist destination today will be esplanade park and merloin park. So happily we walk and heading our way there. But not long, i started complaining, my heels is killling me although is 3 inch, plus the 29 celcius i 'm pespiring .

'So SORRY dinda' i gave up

She and her happy flats, and me still manage to bring us to Furlleton hotel, which is singapore 6 STAR hotel, so is okay..we still manage to snap some pictures.

and mission failed, because of me

hey uncle take a picture with me

hello furlletonOn my way home

that's about it,

ps;there is nothing more important than trust, communication and independence

Call Me Chef

2009-04-12T06:29:00.000-07:00

Feeling * * * *

I m fully charged with energy , and again i couldn't sleep.. This two days out of a sudden urge with no reason, i spontaneously cooked for my brunch and dinner.Which i don't always do so. Reason ? Cause after cooking i will have to clean all the plates and my kitchen is going to be in a mess. Not mentioning, my face and hair is going to be oily lolx .

Chef Lulu specials of the day =]

Chicken in KONG Bao sauce Chinese Lettuce with fermented taufu Is REALLY yummy Fish Cake with garlic and Spring onions ? Pertaining my skills
i rated myself 75/100
Can la

Of course ,Beside those main dish
it also comes with some side dishes
which include:
Kimchi
Seaweed
Omelette's
'ikan Bilis'

i know my presentation sux =\

but still Dinda Say's : ''lu you are a good chef * thumbs up*''
and we both enjoy our dinner

Not Giving up , and here is my 2nd day specials

which i truly feel the passion in me ,dedicating to you Stir Fried potatoes with white button mushroom( but it turn black)

in black sweet sauce
Left Over Chinese Lettuce ,
but this time is with garlic and hou yau sauce

Here comes the dish that i 'm really proud off
Dinda say's : ''lu ,i really like this alot it is good''

But of course other taste good as well =] Lulu's Sweet & Sour chicken.
You See, I Can cook

end of the day, Satisfied and non of the dish were left=p

But i really hate the part,that i have to clean up the kitchen ,
Dinda is thankful and she wash all the plates , =]i shall say this is good teamwork,you know when i was cooking and at the same time i was thinking of mommy, She use to cook for the family almost everyday, and her cooking is still the best..

Back two days i was in Abu Dhabi Again,thought that it will be damn freaking hot, but is not.

Seung min look at the camera
he can never stay still.

i eat alot ! my sister brought me to this Mexican food, & introduce me to one of the most nutritious food THE ''AVOCADO salad''
which she claim that everyone who dine in , will definitely order it!

Wonder Why? Never even tried that FRuit before , even i heard so
Now I know why..

because is the KIko guy who prepares it..lol

on my way back to sista house..

i took a picture of this Great luxurious 7star Hotel in ABu dhabi , Emirates Palace , but i did not when in , how sad..

Well, I been blogging for almost a hour..=]

ps:Good night

Sa Gua

2009-04-02T05:45:00.000-07:00

Feeling ***

Got Inspired by Jay Chow and Wendy lan song, so of the sudden i decide to post d =]
Few Days ago, i went karaoke with ''Jael & Yenny'', man i didnt know i can get so emotional when i hear them sing, they are good i 'swear' lol, well for me..always stick to my old song ''Wu Ding'' and some of the random song that i use to learn from my Girl Friends.

Those days i will have to practice the song that i would want to sing thru PINYIN before going to the KTV.*laugh* and there goes all my laughter memories.

Friend of mine will write down the pinyin on the piece of paper, and i will be happily practicing with hopes that i could remember all the right words ..hahahha..

* you know who u're *

Realizing that i miss my high school, told emily about 2 hrs ago...
The sweet bitter love i experience , although makes me cried thousand litres of tears
but it now gives me an answer and feeling relief that i m not the little girl who beg for u anymore.
adding this, we are so different nw.

Giving myself a 2nd chance to believe that mens are not horror, i met my darling, who also gives me the true begining of what i call LOve .

* he loves me*

Friends that we share , from knowing them with my two poney tails , writing secret letters.
sharing the same text book ,when each or another forgotten to bring.
Having short Recess ,bitching around...lol to the our favorite place ''counselling'
Besides, Places to loose our fats,and to be proud off!!
we tears, we scold, we share we hug'
hahha do you all remember ?
And all grown up

*love u guys*

Feel like a ''sa gua'' , after thinking back those chapters i go tru..

ps: misses those days

Pieces of Me

2009-03-29T00:24:00.000-07:00

Feeling * * * *

Just woke up drowsily from my bed, teddy still with me. Mind set that today is going to be a tiring day, quickly hop out from the bed double check with all my stuff and i was a bout to go out. it is 30th march 09 , m i right ? my blur face..still about to go, and was pretty sure that i had things to do today. thank god !!some one in the msn actually nudge me and saving me from sunday. Guess what is 29th march , and thinking it is 30th march almost got me into to trouble. not much explanation about that;as long i m free today, hurray!! i gave a call to ''Jael'' she is like my big sis in sg, just to make sure that things are going right..and also to reassure that today is a sunday .!! (confuse) anyway we will be having a date for Vietnamese food for our dinner, 3 more hours to go.. that why i m here .

look how adorable is my nephew
abu dhabi was windyrandom pictures ;took on the way to the mall.

ndy

mummy carrying seung min and my lovely sister.

last week , i was in Abu dhabi with my mom and sister's

i misses them alot. was thinking back to my high school days, how i use to complaint about her and wish to get out from the house of boredom. And things change and what was told from de adult, was true.

''you have to appreciated your school life, cause not many people is lucky as you'' i never pay a single attention to what they told me and in school books are to keep in the drawer. The maturity of me was not there, i get easily angry and i never listen , you cant imagine how stubborn i was.

My parents are really strict, although they love me but they never show me. I use to think they never love me at all, just wan to lock me and feed me cause is their job to do so. Every dinner i had with my family , can nvr be special. If i had a chance to go out with friends, i rather do so. But now, the guiltiness in me and the feeling of regret, and i can never go back to the precious time when i use to had with my family.Likewise, now if i had a dinner with them even for a day i feel extremely happy. That why now i feel that single lil things, spending with anyone it means alot to me. And school was a place i once learn how to be a grown up, Humans don't live forever,=] but that is not the really sad part. Saddest is , if we never learn or appreciate the moments we had,no point living cause time flies!!

ps; glad that I've learned.

A piece of Remember

2009-03-28T00:24:00.000-07:00

Feeling * * *

Morning had now turn too Noon, spending of 3 hrs on the com..doing what i suppose to do
and now is time for me to update some of my unspoken days.

i had my brunch, although it seems likely to be a breakfast..a sandwich toast contain of 95% of solid fats which is the ''mayo'' and some vege not least the Mushroom luncheon i bought yesterday. Made some for my roommate's , but they are all still sleeping.

Lazy day to start, But *Phew* sore eyes when away, thanks for the miracle eye drop that Dinda gave me. Unlike mine,12 dollars ..a piece of shit. lol

Brisbane is windy , this month falls on Autumn..i pretty like how the wheather is..not too cold ANd is Not HOT. thankful having hazel with me throughout the trip. hazel my lovely innocent friend . Invested 20 auss into the machine, her magic finger helps her win few dollars lol

shops closes at 5 pm as usual, we got no where else to go,
but was told that there is a casino nearby,
hazel n me quickly took out our passport, and checked with the concierge
huRRay we are just legal.

Had Fast food for our dinner in ''hungry jack'', the only shop that is open besides than all the pub n bar.

quick snap, and oops couldnt see hazel face, neither to mine
ps: we are not allowed to take pictures in the casino.

Burgers and fries just doesnt keeps me full,this days my appetite goes bigger, i just cant stop thinking of food sometimes lol.So i decided to order room service to refill my poor stomach.

since i have not reach my qualified BMI. is ok la...(excuses)
it is 3 am in brisbane and local time is 1 am,
thats alot, but i m not eating it all la,
hazel has the same thought and feelings like me
we both love SUPPER!!

Now my stomach is bloated and i regreted, why do i have to eat in such a late night , Now i couldnt sleep cause i had swallow tons of calories,and it always happen after i ate late supper.

woke up the next day on de Afternoon,lazy but still keeps my energy to walk down to the walking street just behind the hotel.

credits to hazel

see what i caught , couples kissing with a great pose, love that!!Makes me remember i was a good kisser too.

*miss my boyfriend*

after taking few pictures, we both think is time to have our late lunch. walking around wondering
where to eat and finally we found this western restaurant ''MILANO''

had pasta, and i m satisfied =]end of the day before returning back to the hotel,
i did manage to get some souvenirs

last again ,whole trip was just relaxing.........

Sore Eyes ?

2009-03-27T12:08:00.000-07:00

feeling * * *

Past 12 hrs till now, my eyes ain't good at all.
been putting the eye drops claiming that it helps relief irritation and dryness.,
i Dont even know what signs of irritation i have , but is red n sore
so sick of this, cause i been getting this several times .

Please go away sore eyes =[

Home sweet home

2009-03-24T03:46:00.002-07:00

Feeling ***

After Having my 8 days of awesome holiday with my mom n lil sister to Abu dhabi to visit my two elder sister , i m now back again

with my home sick syndrome, thinking it will go away..

it will after only few days later..i guess.

Besides the 8days , having 2 nights in my own home in Msia.. it does put in allot of memo .

and Only one night spend , one dinner , one kiss and one warmly hug with my darling..
i can say it is worth it..=] we still misses each other allot.!!

to friends that i have not seen, i m so sorry, if only i could have more time..=[

with all the care that i had with my loves one, it makes me feel that life is so much more..that what i been thinking last time, and feel more appreciate with what i had.

QUOTES to share

2009-03-24T03:42:00.000-07:00

YOUR SMILE

WHEN YOUR SMILE IS SINCERE YOU CONNECT,

WHEN YOUR SMILE CONNECTS, IT MULTIPLES

SMILE IS AN INTERNATIONAL LANGUAGE THAT EVERYONE KNOW AND USES,

WHEN YOUR SMILE CONNECTS, AND MULTIPLES ,IT IS A LIFE

AND YOU WILL LEAVE

AN EVERLASTING IMPRESSION,

PEOPLE REMEMBER YOU

Adelaide

2009-03-07T09:37:00.000-08:00

Picture taken in adelaide

Rundell Mall

Yenny & Me

walking street...

Reach about 10 am..
but i was too tired, so took a 2hours nap
till 4.30 pm..LOL, most of the shop closes at 5.oopm =\
SO all i can do is window shopping
atleast manage to take some pictures..
about 730 pm..
meet up wit my Dear sylvia ,

, when out with sylvia and her bf Vernon also m ex SChool mate MIng hau
and a joker ''AIMAN'' Lol ..he is funny..we all had dinner

Time past 12 am..Sylvia slept over in my place =]next morning , got to say bye bye T T
we both hug each other ..and i told her i will see her soon again =]

i had lots of fun !! even though is just one night in adelaide.

Rainy days

2009-03-05T08:32:00.000-08:00

Feeling * * * *

i m free n easy , just for today..
suppose to do my laundry but since raining , just have to save it for another day .

Last week was a tiring week, wake up in all sort of timing..cant even get a minimum of 8 hours
sleep, and wat i experience last week was an eye opening, i always been curious on what should it be , and i finally experience it ..it was not just a easy peasy but really tiring and hard to manage..get so confuse and blur ..even stress up for the first time...

still have the fun part of it and also the not so fun part le

but after all the hard work , is worth it le and i manage to get a good sleep =]

n way got some adelaide pic to upload but so lazy..

gtg sleep now..

Nite people..

StiIl So Close

2009-02-15T06:47:00.000-08:00

feeling * * * *

Last Year ,i should say my valentine day is sweet n awesome .Although it was just a Night spending a nice dinner with Him,But still means alot to me, i still remember our moment of love..with his caring and stupid face make me misses him so much now..T T

This year, we are still celebrating it together is just that we are far apart..that all , no big deal =]
just that without his big hand holding me ,like how he use to hold me and hug me ..But we know although how far we are..still feel so close .

darling posted me a valentine gift...still pending ..haven't recieved it yet..
and
i posted him something too..hope he likes it.

p/s : happy valentine to all
treasure your love ones ....

Ladies Night

2009-02-08T06:36:00.000-08:00

Feeling * * * *

weekend party with girls in ''rebelled'' lol
cant really express myself ..that wat i been doing lately
anyway going to the club allow me to be free for once n for all
to really express my stress n anger n helps me to cure my home sick lol

here goes some picture.. not naughty n not drunk =]

off we go

jia ling jie jie n me lol

pretty hazel n me..we are de innocent girls

see my sleepy face .hahhaha past AM Mucho lips..cant stand it .hahha

that night .

uh huh NOT special at all!!

2009-01-18T06:54:00.000-08:00

feeling * 14 Jan 09

''today special'' got me into..today stomachache..
i had my lunch in my training centre canteen ..wondering around
noodles or chicken rice? and spotted
TODAY SPECIAL''black pepper minced meat noodle''
everyone was queing and i decide to try it too
and happily during my induction session..
i got a stomach cram.. though it was ok and it got worst
so i when to the clinic immediately....praying in my heart that is just going to be a normal tummy ache...but NOPE ...
even the doctor doesnt know what causes it..
i was so panic , when she told me
to be alert!! ..if there is a sharp pain ..
you will have to go to the hospital immediately.
.cause it might be APPENDIX!! WHAT
hello? my exam is like two day later
..but thank god. ,
i m alive and feeling fine..
some say it was stomach flu., improper degistive system, food poisonning .
.but what ever it is..i m so glad that it was not an appendix..and I PASS my exam..!!

but there will be more exams!!.. =/

PS:counting 5 days i'll be going home

i miss home, but i m ok

2009-01-10T06:57:00.000-08:00

feeling * * * *

it has been 5 week...and u know wat..i m fine so far..still remember the lonely first week ,where i cried a bucket of tears..but now i m so far so good.just read sylvia blog.SYLVIA i miss u and also joey and cg...both of them..are going to aussie soon on feb..i know how they feel now..cause i was in their shoes..but girls no worries..how far apart we ar..we always friends forever..k

ok is time to update some recent stuff i did this whole week...
this whole week , alot of new things i learn..list of cocktail :
bloody mary ( but i stick to virgin mary)
screw driver
singapore sling( pinkish pineapple with a part of vodka
mahanttan dry( yuck)
cloud 9 ( not my type)

list of mocktail:( for under 18teen)
fruit spritzer
citrus Royale ( citrus lovers)
other cant remember lol

liquor such as gin,vodka ,rum..(yucks i still prefer when is mix with juices)

also few types of wine include red ,white,rose and champhange
this one is not bad ..''chardonnay'' white wine..but still i have to say i m not a drinker
luckily , i didnt get drunk

the best part of my whole course so far is ''food''lol
2 day course and is damn fun ..

next week , will have to go to the us embassy for my US visa..
n have to be there before 7.45 am..''WHAT'' it always happen when it comes to this kinda of stuff
will be a exhausting day cause after the embassy is the UNIFORM collection ..=) Then we will be doing some charity activity to the old folk homes..part of the course.. to understand more about the elderly people needs..I dont mind..=)

NOT to forget the EXAMS is near..and i m not ready yet...=\ scary
in order to get a PASS..i have to get at least 80% swt..panicking ..wish me luck

n guys i m coming back home for NEW year...Thanks to my batchmates Evana..got me a priority pass for AEROline n i got my TICKETS.. yup is the yellow ticket.. i be home ..for 3 days ATleast =) good for me..

my ticket to my home sweet home

my fav lesson..

2009-01-09T08:13:00.000-08:00

feeling * * * *

yay..to me..cause tomolo is rest day but not really rest day le ...next week exam =/ and i still have a bunch of notes to study...which is CRAZY !..today lesson was fun..and is the last subject for this course ...the overall course was fun too but this subject and the instructor is the BEST.

the reason is so fun cause is '' FOOD''
we learn so much things..all sort of meal..and special meal..such as kosher meal for DE jewish PEOple..low fat meal HAHHA..alot le..cant really list all the special meal..but seriously special lol
also learn how to heat up the meal accordingly.. which food serve first

the most fun part it will be ..after heating up those meal..we EAT IT..lol..is like eating drinking ..eating drinking only..then we got cheese tasting..'that part I DONT like ..maybe cause i dont enjoy eating those weird cheese with fungus...

another best part ,i manage to reserve this after lesson lol..

for tomolo breakfast lol..my fav orange juices

creamy cheesy...icy ben and jerry ice cream..yummy

list of things i want to get

2008-12-24T18:24:00.000-08:00

My checklist

-dresssing table for my room
-new bed sheet
-sofa or cussion
-lots of photo frame
-carpet
-dress
-bag
-water heater
-alot more cant remember

mostly furniture ...

white christmas

2008-12-24T17:54:00.000-08:00

feeling * * * *

Christmas's eve was a half day in school...the half day was fun..performance when out well i guess ? but overall it was okay..after performing we were complimented with the tantalizing food in the lounge and we did a student exchange gift in the class , i got a jewelry box..=] and i gave my partner a make up case =\..thank god she likes it.. nothing much really go through on the christmas eve. here are somme pic i upload

before performing

after performing..still stay still

team one .win the best dress santa...hehe .which is us!!

i m free =)

2008-12-24T08:42:00.000-08:00

since i m free today..i decide to upload my flat interior including my messy room

my living room.. the tv is quite big hor

but i rarely use it

here goes my messy room

no time to clean

part of my kitchen.

part of my living room..quite big but empty..it will be furnish after i get my salary

Finally!!

2008-12-13T22:27:00.000-08:00

feeling * * *

is been about 2 week away from Malaysia, until today i finally got my own room. but not clean yet ..n has no identity but i will settle it tat later and so thankful when my mom visit me the past 3 days ..she got me a laptopT T ...i miss her so much..she brought me alot of things from home..my blanky..my pillow..and bought me alot of food..evenn she bring stuff like kitchenware so tat i could cook..so touch .but now aGain sheis back to mal, and i m here again to tell u

how tiring m i this few days...

traning was..fun..but really tiring..i have to wake up so damn early in the morning ..which is about 5.30 to 6 am range...just to tie my BUN ..n is so hard..cause is not just a simple bun..but a bun which no pins to be seen..and i just had a frinch cut..just to suit my bun. besides the bun..that rush me, the make UP..was so diff from the one that i usually do..like eyeliner then just swap eyeshadow..this one..trust me ..i took about 30minutes to 50 minutes to get the right tone and color..which i re-do and re-do again n again...so TIRing..

and I M SO broke, FOR all the stuffi spend over here..i think i roughly spend 3000++ for only 2 weeks when i converted in to malaysian curency..$ $ ...expensive like hell..

NOW I have to start eating chicken rice for this whole month..chicken rice only cost 2 dollars.. =\

i didnt get to post much picture cause some picture is violation due to company image ..sorry T T

oh yea i started using FACEbook..Still noob at it .. ..

same email: cutieangel_2003@hotmail.com

sorry, please ignore my frinch and my cacated face =\

lol

ps: i failed to tied my bun,

messy huh..first day only =\

hate singapore HDB flat

2008-12-07T02:15:00.000-08:00

feeling * *
i was so exhausted ,the time was so hectic..yesterday only i had a one day time to find a accomodation for my rest coming one year. from morning about 10 something me and my 2 indonesian friend which are also finding acoomodation together ..we when for a breakfast and then we start calling agency to find a hdb flat le..you know wat here the flat is so sucky i mean some only le..apartment and condo are damn nice but not hdb...but just rent A HDB flat cause about 2100-2500 sin dollars range..AND is small..some le..now i miss my house so much..
when check out about 6 flat...the first one was nice and fully new furnish BUT my six sense tell me is spooky ...SO X nope..then coming down to the next few flat.EXPENSIVE n SMALL but nice atmosphere le..ANyway i cut this short the last HDB flat i when was the most OKAY one..so no hesitating we rent tat one le..got time i take picture and show u guyz...but it wont be as nice as malaysia terrace house le T T ..and another bad news tonight is my last night to stay in my hotel...T T ..no more housekeeping and nice bathtub d..anyway i will stil move on to the new enviroment tat i have to stay.NO choice!!. and training start on tuesday abit excited but Worry also LE..

3rd day in SIN

2008-12-03T06:14:00.000-08:00

feeling * *

i m now in BEDOK,singapore
some place le i d ont know how i actually get here
by asking people , i actually manage to get a cc over here
n i m so happy to get to online n write this
people who are reading this
i miss malaysia , i miss all my frens i miss my mom my family n my darling
still i m not use to it although isthe 3rd day,
anyway people i might come home !!cause i still havent got my work permit =(
i wan to be strong and continue this but i just wish i could stay at my own home

i got nothing much to telll cause i been going up and down to orchard road
to do another medical check up for my spinal cord for some scoliocist x ray
which i have to pay 140 sin dollars, damn expensive T T

and only me i has to do tat ..so i m concerning, if anything bad i haveto come home too
besides tat, i keep spending money on transportation
i reload 28 bucks in the ezy link card to travel with public transport and today i left only 8 plus
which only the third that ...i spend about 500 over bucks here d , if convert back into malaysia ringgit la... singapore ( $$$) money money everywhere.

ok le i have to go d..cause is late out here n from here back to changi hotel is damn far
T T public transport again... i will update wit u guyz soon
so far no pic ..cause nothing memorable to post T T

1st day in SINgapore

2008-12-01T03:13:00.000-08:00

feeling * star

today morning , i have to woke up so early in the morning to the airport, my mom, darling,cousin n my girl frens , all came to the airport a long with me..i m so touch and i m so sad..but i just dont knowhow to express it , i got two lovely letter , one from z yin..i read it ..wit a smile but i m sad cause i miss those time and also one from wei kheng..i dont belive wat she wrote..but i miss her too cause we when coll most of the tim e together and most importantly i miss SEAN so much

my first arrival to CHangi, was a disaster aready, the arrangement of my baggage from kul to sin didnt reach at all..i got one bag lost..they claim they will send my bag to the hotel..well skip tat part..i miss home... now i got no car..over here although is so convinient but i have to walk alot..
and the streets ar pack with people..and i feel so not use to it..cause usually i drive n i go to a relaxing place..n today i feel so lonely although i m travelling and going to start my career here.

haih i use to travel with somebody ..and usually with sean and now.. i travel alone..and i m stuck in every corner of the street .

i wan to go home T T

i miss my mom
i miss sean
i miss my frens

thank god is Thursday

2008-11-06T08:36:00.000-08:00

feeling ****star

here goes again , my exotic day had just pass ,and i m now blogging again, today class started at 1pm, it was Moral ..AGAIN!! we were learning about budhism and taosim, nothing much to explain about the teaching by my lecturer ms nada ..cause it was bored all the way.. because it was so bored , Ah boy and Siva my classmate sat next to me and we played some lame games ,CONquer ..at first, then BINGO ..not fair !!siva wins all the time ..so we decided to change to a different game..which is so damn Lame ...i suppose is called the ''NAME'' game.where each of us come out the topic ..for example, name the animals that we know..so the one who out of the names n totally blank in their heads ..LOSE.. topics include.. brands names, stationary names, and bla bla bla ..i couldnt mention it all.. but it was actually kinda fun !! and after all the games we had a class break .and when class break ends another half an hour goes on with the teaching and the class ended ..

came back and boey arrived and i start teaching her piano till 5.30 p.m
tiring and sleepy but i still hang on till 6.00 p.m i help my mom to fetch the monkeys ( the kids) back from lick hung to their homes and when i reached home is about 6.50 plus plus ..had a dinner but wasnt full enough ( hehehehhe)

so at night my dar dar bought me RAmly burger and free delivery it to my house ..manage to see him for 10minutes i guess T T .. but is better than nothing
now i miss him so much..

n now i m tired n sleepy

ok tat it i m going to sleep now !!

lunch time with dar dar

2008-11-03T10:02:00.001-08:00

on our way to barbeque PLaZa for our lunch

but before that , ssing in the lift

here we go again

mmm take me too !!

took in bbq plaza , was getting ready to eat !!

''smilee girl''taken by my dear gummy baby boo

my nephew isnt he CUTE

2008-11-03T09:23:00.000-08:00

...yummy - i wanna hold it myself

my lil nephew

han seung min

daniel

is My FRIDAY

2008-10-31T07:06:00.001-07:00

Feeling **** star

woke up late but had a date at 8.30 am with my darling,
reach his house about 9.00 a.m, called him lots of time but didnt pick up
( marah gila d) he came out '' sorry girl i didnt see u''
ignoring still, ''why you so stupid de, want me come out from the car , but dont open door for me''
my anger temperature goes descending,then finally when in to his crib, lay down awhile on his bed and watch a movie that we boughted few days ago in ss15, at that time, we were looking for the movie called 'dante peak''which is long ago movie since 1998 and we managed to find it*good* .. the movie is about volcano in dante peak a town actualy, i know is lame !! but the show was fascinating *
*claps* we watch it till d end , then is about time to go for a lunch
when sunway pyramid ...and had lunch in BBQ plaza.. we just lovee it..Then walk around in the mall ...then is about time to go home..sob , but i had a great time spending with my dar dar =)

Posses and Shots , `-langkawi trip-

2008-10-31T06:21:00.000-07:00

hey!!all the girls look to your right

''chi chak''

here we go another snap shot

on top of the cable car mountain

all de rabbits surrounded us

they were so fluffy and soft and so de cutee

we feed them carrots , cabbage and unexpectedly

they EAT raisin!!,

suppose to feed the raisin to de monkey n peacock

?x_x more raisin please!!

Pending 2 Weeks =\

2008-10-31T05:55:00.000-07:00

still pending on for 2 more weeks, and i will know my final result..
whether i m going or not, atleast i give try..

i m still making my decision again and again and finally i still prefer to drop off my studies and go for it .. if i really got it (=p)
mimi( my elder sis) i really think you should think about it , cause life being a cabin crew wasnt fun , and i regreted .. and i dont want you do step in to this life , cause u r still young ..mumbling and mumbling , i know she doesnt want me to be regret but i really wan to give it a try and start off my career ..obviously is a big world out dere, but i think i can handle it =\ i think ..=p
but still whether how it turn ups.. i m realy hoping frens and family will support me and hopefully wat i've plan will go smoothly ..

memo pic of me and my dear

2008-10-29T09:26:00.000-07:00

taken by alice bf, (mike) in langkawi